You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.
Every year around this time I inevitably utter the phrases “this year went by fast!” and “where did the year go?”. In the past 6 years since college, I have had trouble pinpointing when an event happened. For some reason it was easier for me to remember things when I could tie them to a year and a semester. So with the help of my trusty planner, I have decided to recap the highlights of my year to prove to myself that I indeed had fun, got shit done, and well, lived.
January – March
Annie Leibovitz exhibit at the High Museum – while I normally wouldn’t put a museum exhibit as a highlight, this one was truly touching. I love photography. I couldn’t tell you about f stops or apertures, but I love beautiful photographs. While I knew Annie’s photographs for magazines would be stunningly beautiful (and indeed they were), I was not expecting the personal photos in the exhibit, nor was I expecting the walnut sized lump in my throat and the tears I felt at the corners of my eyes when I saw the photographs chronicling Susan Sontag’s death. So very beautiful and painful at the same time. Definitely one of my favorite museum trips to date.
Visit to my brother and his family in NC – they had just moved from Indiana to NC a few months prior. I try to visit my little munchkins at least once a year. While snowfall in Atlanta (yes, Atlanta!) delayed my trip by one day, we made up for the lost time. Here they are at this cute little children’s museum my sister-in-law and I took them to.
The (physical) loss of one of my best friends – thus “Peach in Rain” was born when E moved from ATL to Seattle. While I was (and continue to be) excited for her and this great opportunity, I knew happy hours would (sadly) never be the same.
April – June
Started dating my (now ex-) boyfriend. Just because it’s over doesn’t mean it wasn’t significant. The Ex revived me – he threw lukewarm water on my tundra frozen heart and gave me back that giddy feeling I hadn’t felt in years. I’m sorry it’s over. I miss him still, but I’m not sorry it happened. If anything, I found out that not all the good ones are gone (he’s still considered good to me even though it didn’t work) and after seven years of dating a myriad of men who, in the end, were not good or good for me, I can still be surprised. I am still hopeful that I will meet the one for me.
Beach weekend in Florida. My neighbor Kim got married on the beach so my sis, my bff, andI had a 3 day beach weekend.
My first visit to the Pacific Northwest! Went to see E in Seattle and had my first blogging experience as a guest blogger on her site. Had a fabulous time with my girl and Hot Gay Joe. Seattle is such a beautiful city. This was also the first time I explored a new city on my own. This a big thing for me as I am navigationaly challenged and am afraid of strangers.
HGJ and I at the Freemont Troll
Another trip to NC – this time to Asheville. I went with the FLC girls (Fabulous Ladies Club). We plan a trip every year that contains a spa outing. I was unable to make the trip the last two years so I was very excited for this one. Plus, it happened to be on my birthday weekend!
So the next weekend I was back in town and we celebrated my bday. A big group of us went to dinner at JCT Kitchen and then off to Twisted Taco and then to Zucca.
Met some interesting people along the way…
I look severely uncomfortable
Last picture of the night – oh the thought bubble possibilities!
July - September
Family beach trip – again to NC. This was our first *real* vacation as a family. Growing up, we always went to see family as our vacation. Read – long road trips from TX and then later VA to PA , NC, and GA. 4 kids and 2 aldults in a minivan for long periods of time never ends well. So this summer we all met up at this small family beach in NC and even some of our extended family came. Very fun – I hope it turns into a tradition. I guess that’s in my hands since I was the one who planned this trip. But I think everyone had a great time and are receptive to doing it again.
me and one of my munchkins
I ran my first 5k! I hate running. But I’ve been saying that I want to run a 5k since college so I figured it was about damn time to make good on my word. I trained and I actually ran it in better time than I thought. My two goals were 1. not walk at all and 2. finish in under 40 mins. I accomplished both and even finished right under 30 mins. Go me! I was proud. And it was the first time in a long time where I had to inflict some self-discipline. It was hard, but way worth it.
Welcome to Miami! Went to Miami for a dear friend’s bachelorette party. We stayed at this swanky boutique hotel and met Hulk Hogan and his daughter Brooke at the hotel pool party. They graciously agreed to a group photo…
Since most of us had never been to Miami before, we had great pleasure people watching on South Beach:
We also saw this little thong available in “white mesh”. Along with the people watching came the copious amounts of alcohol. These drinks were buy one get one free:
Debauchery ensued, bars were danced on, feathers flew (from boas – no animals were hurt on this trip). I puked and rallied at the bar our last night there. The bachelorette was dead set on getting all the items crossed off her list. There were 3 tasks remaining and I vowed to help her. One was to get a free shot from the bartender. Great, I can do that. And I did get one for her, but then he also proceeded to pour one for me and a fellow partygoer. I was in no condition to take this tequila shot and I knew it. But being a good friend, I took half the shot and then threw the paper cup (thank God it wasn’t a real shot glass) to the floor pretending I had done the whole thing. Then I made an immediate beeline to the ladies room. My best friend watched the whole thing go down and met me outside the door with a beer. She’s so wonderful! But I got about 2 hours of sleep before I spent the next couple hours alternately hugging the toilet and packing my suitcase. Hug the toilet, pack my bathing suits and towel. Hug the toilet some more, gather all my shoes. Lay down on the floor and breathe heavily. Will the room to stop spinning. This went on for quite some time until finally my suitcase was packed and I could not even hold down water and saltines. We were all massively hung over. To the point that the TSA officials were laughing at us. My bff kept her sunglasses on inside the airport. I had the shakes and was positively green. Further proof that I am far, far away from being 21.
The ex and I break up. Boo 
Since the break up occurred just 2 weeks before my friend’s out of state wedding, he agreed to still be my date. We actually had a great/non-weird time. The wedding was in Charlottesville in late September on vineyard. It was beautiful!
I was a reader!
Another dear friend gave birth to her first child, a sweet little boy!
October - December
Honestly, October was rough for me. The post-break-up was pretty ugly and it took awhile for me to make it through a whole day without crying. This did start a wave of projects (cleaning, crocheting, sewing lessons) and my foray into the blog world. All that said, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and even though I didn’t create a new costume (the best part to me, next to the pumpkin seeds) or carve a pumpkin (although I did buy one!), I did have a fine time with my peeps including Mr. Richard Simmons below (aka my bff’s husband) …
Unfortunately I don’t have too many pics of November and December. They were filled with lots of birthday celebrations, holiday time, and impromptu visits with old friends.
Overall a great year. Here’s to 2009!
As I ease back into real life today (read: work), the detox has somewhat begun. Prior to going home for the holidays, my month of December was full of birthday parties, holiday festivities, and reunions, which means I drank my weight in wine and beer at least 3 times over. I thought I’d dry out once I got to mom and pop’s house, but you know what the say about the best made plans. Instead I drank even more!!! It seemed that soon after we (mom, pops, and my sis) had our afternoon coffee, minutes later the ladies were sipping on wine and pops was chugging his beer. This happened each and every day I was home.
Needless to say, we had a great visit even though half of our crew (my brothers) weren’t able make it. In addition to drinking ourselves silly, we sat our asses on the couch and watched the House marathon (at this point I can tell you whether it’s an autoimmune issue vs. cancer) and back to back episodes of Always Sunny seasons 1 – 3 (“Goddammit, Charlie!”). Pepper in lots of good eats and a few rounds of CatchPhrase and that about sums up my Christmas vacation. I also got to play with my best friend from high school’s kids. They live in CT so I never see them so this was a treat. I only wish I had brought my camera – grr. Aside from one moment of drama with my Grandma, it was a good trip indeed.
So now I’m back in the ATL. I finished the remnants of a bottle of wine I started back home on Sunday night with the vow that I’d start to take it easy on the vino (um, at least until NYE, a mere three days away). I went grocery shopping tonight and bought a ton of fruit and some teas (green and pomegranate) trying to undo some of the damage of this past month. But alas, try as I might, I couldn’t avoid the wine aisle. Like a crazy ex-girlfriend driving by her boyfriend’s house “just to see if he’s home”, I perused the wine aisle. I caved and picked up a bottle. Inspired by the incorporation of super foods into my diet, I picked a pomegranate wine (antioxidants, anyone?). Yes, that’s my justification and I’m sticking to it.
I’m off to bed – wine free. It’s exhausting getting through the day without a drink.
My good friend Peach in Rain left me a funny/almost unintelligible voicemail Tuesday night in reference to some ways to be green. By no means am I a green expert nor do I practice all things green. However, I have always wanted to do my part to take care of mother earth since my 8th grade science class had to projects related to the environment. My topic was specific to paper consumption/rain forests. Since then I’ve had an interest in sustainable energy, sustainable housing, recycling, etc. But 2008 is the year in which I made the most changes for a greener me.
I found this great book (one of many, I’m sure) with tons of small and large things you can easily incorporate into your daily habits. Not only are you helping the environment but many of these tips will also save you some cash. I think that’s the key to becoming a greener person – do changes little by little. Trying to do everything all once will just overwhelm you and then you’ll say to hell with it.
So, in order to feel good about myself and give myself a public pat on the back, here are green things I’ve done this year:
· Recycle – my county doesn’t offer recycling pick up so I found a nearby recycling center and now recycle to the tons of magazines, catalogues, plastic, and glass bottles (the glass bin in our house always fills first – I do kind of feel like a wino when I’m sorting the clear/brown/green glass!)
· Efficient light bulbs (CFLs) - these new light bulbs are expensive so I didn’t replace every light bulb in my house at once. Instead I committed to replace a regular light bulb with a CFL bulb when it burns out.
· Giving to Goodwill/Selling on ebay – don’t throw clothes in the trash (unless they are beyond repair). Sell your goods on ebay or give to charity. Not only do you clear the crap from your closet, you can make a few bucks or get that altruistic high from giving to those less fortunate.
· Pay for the car wash – many counties in Atlanta have been under a water ban awhile now which means don’t wash your car. My car has been really dirty for about two years! However, most of the automatic car wash places recycle the water they use.
· Bring your own bags when you go shopping. I keep three tote bags in my car for when I go grocery shopping, Target shopping, etc. They are inexpensive (read 99 cents), if not free. My grocery store (Kroger) even had a promotion that if you designed a reusable grocery bag, you got one free. I didn’t win, but it was fun (to me) to be creative and then to get rewarded for my efforts. If you forget your bags and you end up with plastic ones, recycle them. Many stores like WalMart and Publix have boxes at the front of their stores for this very purpose.
· Run the dishwasher at night. Running the dishwasher or laundry at night will you save you some cash for using energy at an off peak time.
· Get on the bus, Gus. Just be careful how many bags you take with you 
Aside from reducing the pollution in the air, riding the bus will benefit your wallet (filling up less, less maintenance on your car) and your health (reduces the time you spend in traffic gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles).
The book has a ton more easy little things that you probably just never thought about (like moving lamps away from your thermostat so the heat from the bulb doesn’t misrepresent the actual room temperature). I highly recommend this guide!
So how does this all tie into the funny voicemail I got from Peach in Rain? Well my friend Peach moved from the ATL to Seattle about 9 months ago. Seattle is very green and full of crunchy granola tree huggers and I believe this has rubbed off on my friend Peach. She called me after an Amazon search she did on green products. Apparently she came across some green feminine products. While she and I both strive to do our part, here is where we draw the line! These reusable pads have snaps (snaps!) to secure into your underwear. After Gigglebox left her first message, she then left another. Apparently someone had these pads on their Amazon wishlist. In addition, this same person had some dish towels. Not out of the ordinary, right? Well, then Peach read the comments. This person suggested using the dishtowels in lieu of (drum roll, please)…toilet paper!!!!! What?!?!? I hope this woman has a separate wash machine for her bathroom products! Or worse yet, I hope she doesn’t use public laundromats. To each her own, but I’ll stick with my Charmin and one-use-only feminine products, thank you very much.
If you have your own green ways that you’d like to share, please feel free to do so!
Time of death – 22:24.
It wasn’t planned, but in light of this morning’s post, it’s not all too surprising. TNG and were talking and he called me out on whether or not I got the time of work to go down there for New Year’s. The gates opened – words very similar to this morning’s post were said (minus any cringe worthy sentiments) – overall, it wasn’t too bad. There were some hurt feelings and some “tone” was dispensed, but it could have been a lot worse. I still feel a bit guilty and my stomach is aching a bit, but I stuck to my guns and reminded him that from the beginning I was upfront about my cold and battered heart and that I wasn’t ready to date anyone.
If anything, I wish I could’ve been more sensitive. This is usually my nature, but when I feel attacked, I immediately go on the defensive. An ex once told me I should’ve been a lawyer b/c I remember everything and when it’s argument time I can rattle off a list facts of who, what, when, where, and why about any given situation that would help my “case”. But I digress…I wish I had been more sensitive (and nicer) because I’ve been wondering if this whole experience with TNG is the reverse of my relationship with the ex (I was WAY into him and perhaps he had me around b/c I was good to him even though he wasn’t in to me). It hurts to think that was the case, but regardless (notice I didn’t type “irregardless”, Peach in Rain!) my feelings were hurt a lot and I spent a lot of time wondering “why?”. Now, clearly not the same type of relationship was had, nor was it even the same magnitude, but feelings are feelings and no one likes to have theirs hurt, much less by someone being a bitch to them in the process. Please forgive me, TNG.
I think my Unisom is kicking in, that or my mind is too busy trying to chase all my thoughts. I’m not quite sure I articulated in this post exactly what I am thinking, but at the very least it’s helping the ache in my stomach ease up. And yes, I did just end that sentence with a preposition. Sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Good night, Darlings! Sleep well.
Not nearly as exciting as the danger zone, I know. I am not on a motorcycle pumping my fist in the air at the take off of an F14. However, I still dig this term. My sister just recently introduced it to me when relaying a story about one of her work friends. Said work friend revealed he had a crush on my sister but knowing that she was already taken, he quickly followed up with “but I can keep you in the friend zone, no problem”.
This term so eloquently describes where I have placed “the new guy”. Background story: so a few posts ago I had mentioned that I wanted a crush to help revive my battered little heart. I met “the new guy” (here on out referred to as TNG) on Halloween night at a bar (the fourth locale change I had that evening – needless to say, I was wasted). We talked for two hours or so until the bar closed. Long story short (which, given my blog name is hard for me), he asked me out for the next night. I gave him my digits and then cabbed it home with the rest of my posse, excited about a crush prospect.
The following day I battled through my hangover and then went to dinner with TNG and his friends. TNG does not live in the ATL. He lives in Florida. About 6 hours away. But I like this distance! Back to the date – end of the night rolls around and there was a kiss to be had, but…my heart just wasn’t into it. There were no butterflies. It was a bit forced.
Anyhow, two weeks later TNG comes back to the ATL to hang out with me. Friday night I made dinner and we had some wine. Talking was easy and overall an enjoyable night. But then Saturday during the day I started to feel guilty. I could tell he was way more into me than I was into him. As our Saturday night date was approaching (he took me to a fancy restaurant), I was beginning to fill with dread. Needless to say, I was very quiet at dinner and was a terrible date. We came back to my house and watched TV before he left to go to his friend’s house. I asked him to text me when he got there so that I knew he made it okay and when he did he also included, “is it just me or was tonight weird?” To which I replied, “Yes, I’m a weirdo. I’m sorry – I’ll explain more when I’m lucid.”
So Sunday morning I called him and apologized for being a horrible date, but that I was starting to feel guilty b/c 1. I noticed we are not on the same page and 2. I’m still cold and plastic from my break-up and clearly not ready to date. Basically it boils down to a timing problem. I think he is cute and sweet and funny, but that this is not a situation where “fake it till you make it” applies. He was really sweet about it and said he understood. I felt icky for the rest of the day, but glad that this all came out sooner rather than later. If you know me at all, you know I hate hurting any one’s feelings.
Monday I come home from work and there is a big bouquet of flowers on the table. I think my sister’s boyfriend bought them for her until she tells me they are for me. From TNG. “Crap” is the first word that comes to mind. Yet another thing to make me feel guilty. I call and am grateful I get his voicemail. I leave a message thanking him for the flowers, but don’t gush in case he actually ordered the bouquet prior to coming to ATL and the “talk” on Sunday. He calls me back later and tells me he thought about it and he just can’t let a girl like me get away so easily and that he’ll wait until my heart is defrosted. While my friends think this sentiment is sweet, I think it’s slightly stalkerish.
We continue to talk daily. He comes to ATL again and we hang. Now when we talk on the phone he tells me he misses me. This makes me cringe. We had discussed plans of spending New year’s together, but I just can’t see this happening. So now what? I have two major issues:
1. How do I break this off (again)?
2. What is wrong with me that I’m turning away from a guy that not only is good on paper, but is a huge PLT fan? I’ve always been a bit leery of people who were way into me. When did I acquire this Groucho Marx behavior? I think I am a truly fabulous person, so why do I freak out when someone (male) thinks the same way? My counselor hasn’t told me why just yet so maybe you could shed some perspective. I’m hoping I’m not just pre-disposed to guys who don’t see how fabulous I am and therefore spend my time proving this well known fact to them. I know I’m still living in a delusional space where I think the Ex is going to come to his senses and give me a call. You’d think after 3 months I’d be out of this space, but this one has some teeth. Fortunately, the new year is right around the corner and what a perfect time to start anew.
Sorry to be so blah on a Monday morning – this subject has been laying heavily on my mind. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, were you able to handle it in a way where the hurt to the person in the friend zone was minimal and you didn’t feel like terrible person?
I started taking the bus to work (a 22 mile commute) about 3 months ago. I had wanted to try it out for months after discovering that 1) the bus stop is literally a quarter mile from my house and 2) the drop off is directly in front of my building downtown. In addition, I loved that this would count in my efforts to be more green (to be discussed in a later post – I know you’re excited for that one). When the Atlanta gas fiasco occurred a few months ago and gas was no where to be found, I read this “crisis” as a sign to get my ass on the bus. And guess what? I love it! Instead of being white-knuckled on 75 South every morning alternately swearing at people who are going too slow in the fast line and then (consequently) slamming on the brakes, I am instead grooving to my itunes crocheting scarves (um yeah, another shameless plug for you to view my store on Etsy). In addition to my new calm, cool, and collected version of myself, I am saving some serious cash by no longer paying for parking downtown (90 bones a month!).
However, with the good comes the bad. It turns out that by reducing my carbon footprint I have inadvertently turned into a bag lady. What an odd correlation. When/why did this happen? And how did my fashionista-self fail to realize how bad the situation had become? Behold the evidence:
Exhibit A – my black purse. I purposely bought this big ass bag so that I wouldn’t need to bring along totebags. Clearly my plan failed.
Contents: wallet, cell phone, umbrella (a big one – my dog peed on my little one), planner, notebook, box of xmas cards, hat for when it’s cold at the bus stop, a box of candy canes for third graders I’ll see today at Junior Achievement (these are not a fixture and will be gone by day’s end), make-up bag (it’s small – I swear!), Excedrine Migraine, and keys.
Exhibit B - the red tote. I keep a pantry at work (hey, a girl has to eat…and often) and from time to time I have to restock it.
Contents: 2 different 100 calorie snack packs, some ginger tea, and my lunch bag (yes, a bag within a bag. I indeed have a problem).
Exhibit C - the beige GT tote.
Contents: this little guy is holding the scarf I’m working on and the yarn for said scarf. I used to shove my scarves-in-the-making into my purse, but then worried that something might happen to them – pens leaking on them, a paper cut from a business card? Who knows. Did I mention that I’m irrational at times?
So my revelation of my bag lady status occurred this morning when I was getting off the bus – I was literally wedged in the aisle due to the bulk of all my bags. Once I freed myself from the blockage, I took great pains lifting my laden arms high above the heads of my fellow passengers so as not to injure them. I swear the homeless man outside my building looked at me like I was his kindred spirit. I resolve that tomorrow I shall only bring my purse…and my lunch bag. Crap! It’s the department potluck so I’ll have to bring a dish…which means carrying it in a totebag. Friday is looking like the perfect day to start anew
My sis just showed me this clip and I can’t get the fake song out of my head. Check it out:
(SNL gives a warning, but here’s an extra one – this is not for kids or those without a sense of humor)
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/digital-short-j-in-my-pants/866262/
Along the lines of the JT “Dick in a Box” song of yesteryear, this digital short will have you laughing. Check out JT’s cameo as the janitor. And Andy’s faces! He kills me. Enjoy!
Disclaimer – this is old! I wrote this awhile ago when the wound was a gaping, bloody gash instead of the purple/green bruise it is now.
Since you took your love away. Or so said Prince and Sinead O’Connor. But for me, well, that’s not exactly true – it’s been a few hours shy of 16 days since we have stopped talking and 46 days since he officially ended things. Shit! 46 days? Damn, that sounds long in days. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. And since he never said to me “I love you”, I guess he didn’t technically take his love away from me, just his self. But nor did I tell him that I loved him (although I thought it loudly … and often). I think (and hope and pray) that the worst is over. I can go consecutive days without crying and just the other day it was almost noon before I thought about him for the first time that day. But it’s nights that haunt me. I think of him. I wonder if the sheets on the right side of his bed are laying flat or if there is a replacement body keeping his bed warm. Then I get mad. I hiss “I hate you” out loud. Not really meaning it, but thinking it may make me feel better. It doesn’t. I try to calm down. I take a Unisom and sip of chamomile tea. And then I try to take solace in the fact that I’m starting to forget things. My memories are beginning to blur. I can’t remember what he smells like (although I do remember the crying jag I had when I didn’t really want to strip my bed and wash my sheets shortly after the break up b/c I knew I’d lose his scent in my sheets). I can’t remember how he kissed, only that I liked it. Other memories are clear to me though – the tattoo on his left shoulder, the paunch of his stomach in my hand when I spooned him, running my fingers through the hair on his chest, the weight and warmth of his arm when he spooned me, the way he tucked his bottom lip into his mouth when he was deep in concentration. The solace doesn’t last long. It makes me sad that I don’t know how my friend is doing, what’s going on in his life. I forget that we were friends first. The person I most want to turn to for comfort is the one I need to avoid. It’s a lonely night stuck alone with my thoughts. Sleep finally comes to my rescue.
I’m starting to let go of the notion that a missed call or text message will reveal his phone number (I long deleted his name from my phone but the curse of a steel trap of a memory on my part and a personalized phone number on his part makes it impossible for me to forget his digits). And while I still look for his college sticker or his favorite baseball team logo on every car that is the same make, model, and color, I know this behavior will soon pass as well. I feel my fake smiles becoming real. And laughter is eeking into my days.
Shortly after the break up, I made a playlist (aptly named “crushed and crestfallen, but still wistful”) to help me work through my dark and twisty emotions. I’m a strong believer in the cathartic power of music and while some people don’t get the point of drowning yourself in sad odes to lost and/or unrequited love, it soothes me. Funny how all of a sudden you actually listen to lyrics instead of just hearing them. They speak to you. You think, “Wow, you just nailed exactly how I feel right now, mister or miss songwriter”. While I tend to overdose on sad country tunes (I did this time too, but only for a few days), my list, though definitely sad, is also somewhat uplifting (hence the “wistful” part of the title). Getting over a break up has a pattern. I force myself to remember that I’ve been through many (many!) break ups before. And while I have only ever loved two boys in my life, I somehow got over love #1, which means I shall someday get over love #2. Music helps you remember that – these peeps have had their hearts torn from their chests, squeezed in someone else’s hand, and then flung to the dirty, gritty ground and yet here they are! Living and breathing and making music. While the pain is real and awful, some perspective must be had – I’m still living and breathing.
What’s on this playlist you ask? Ask and you shall receive:
It’s been 46 days (and no, I didn’t know that off hand – I looked at my planner to figure it out) and while I’m not ready to date, I am ready to have a crush. Someone to dress up for in the morning on the off-chance you’ll see him at some point in the day. Someone to flirt with…a little. Nothing major, just a shiver of excitement. This thought, my friends, turned out not to be so true. Stay tuned!
I started reading all these blogs a few month ago when I was going through the beginning stages of a break up. I know it sounds effed up, but I really found it helpful reading other people’s candid tales of their lovelornness (let’s pretend that’s a word). Misery loves company, I suppose. Once my sadness eased up, I started reading the non-sad posts from these same bloggers. And like any good addiction, I’m hooked on my cyber-voyeurism. Recently I have started to think that maybe it’s about damn time I put some of my own thoughts/personal stories/soap box preachings out in cyberland. So I hope you enjoy my new little spot. It won’t all be sad or pretty, but hopefully it will be somewhat entertaining.
